TROLL
Fashioned by the former Chief Implementor Belegur, trolls are a race
of large, ferocious, stupid, ugly, deformed, brutish
humanoids that
live
underground, in caves, or under bridges. Ironically, these growling
bipeds are fearful
of total darkness. Just like men, trolls come in a variety of different
skin-colors, statures, and bodily hair-lengths (those with hair are
"homotroll caninous", while the green hairless variety are "trollipadus
vulgarus"). Greedy for treasure
and gold; their blood-red eyes bulge disgustingly, dripping with greed
at the mere mention. While they will eat just about anything (or at
least attempt to), they subsist on a diet of tree bark, adventurers,
and anything they find lurking within their own ears.
Most of these semi-intelligent creatures cannot even
talk, spitting out
angry, guttural snarls and bellows. Those who do (although slowly and
quite poorly,
stumbling over their own words) are considered much brighter than the
average troll. Many trolls have been known to dig deep pits, for no
more than purposeless,
unintellable reasons. Thus many large, pointless pits were described as
being pits that "dropped like a mighty troll excavation."
Trolls brandish an assortment of weapons, including axes and long nasty
knives. Weapons are never cleaned after each murder, and thus are
commonly caked with blood. It is rare to see a troll garbed shabby
clothing, most prefer to wear nothing. Many trolls tend to forget their
own strength, for example, when
patting one on the head, it will nearly bash skulls, or a friendly tap
on the shoulder will break an arm in two places, or a gentle nudge with
the sword accidently slices into pieces. Disarmed trolls are cowards,
and will plead for their life.
Although not noted for being more than rudimentarily bright, trolls
are often employed as security guards, highwaymen, lackeys and
bouncers, especially
with toll gnomes. Gladys used a troll to guard the toll bridge to
Witchville. While most
are vicious, it is known that during the reign of Syovar the Strong,
the
Castle of Zork kept a few dumb (more "intelligent" than the others) but
loyal troll guards. Although trolls are also used for target practice,
no role has ever been found which suits them more than sitting around
in the dark and ocassionally atacking things with an axe.
Many
adventurers mistake the sleeping troll as a corpse, for example on the
far side of a bridge or within a toll booth, but are quickly
dispatched when the troll comes
to life at the last moment upon hearing the purposeful creaking of
planks or the opening of a presumed abandoned gate. Trolls can be
easily tricked. An example of such common stupidity can
be seen in the instance with a troll at a bridge near
Gornforb's
Grocery. Knowing the troll's desire for gold, this enchanter filled a
common brown paper grocery bag with pebbles, wrote "GOLD" upon the
outside, and after showing the closed bag to the troll, threw it into
the river. The troll, shrieking with pleasure, dove into the brook
after the bag. Afer another shriek of agony coupled with some thrashing
in the water, the troll was never seen again.
During the
Great
Monster Uprising of the
Second
Age of Magic, trolls were reported in the following regions:
The Dark Forest,
Frigid River Valley,
The White Cliffs,
White Cliffs Beach,
Aragain Falls,
Fenshire,
Flathead Mountains,
The Gray Mountains
(including
The Gray
Mountains Asylum),
Antharian
Caves,
Granola
Mines,
Mines of
Mendon,
Forest of Youth,
Gurth Woodland Trial,
Discipline Beach,
Grubbo Hills,
Mithicus Mountains,
Egreth Castle, and the
G.U.E. Tech Training Grounds
in the
Ethereal Plane
of Atrii.
TROLLS AND WEAPONS
As trolls are eternally dangerous, some magical swords
have been
known to glow blue in their presence, which is of great benefit to
adventurers looking to avoid them, but has also found a commercial use
in the troll world as a cheap night-light for troll children. Despite
the high cost of swords this can still be financially viable assuming
the adventurer's statement "you can take this sword from my cold, dead
hands" proves to be accurate.
HALF-TROLLS
Some detestable
half-troll, half-human breed of unknown origin was
discovered in the Third Age of Magic in the underground near Shanbar.
A clan living amongst a complex labyrinth of sewer drainpipes, governed
by a cowardly leader were defeated by an unknown Sweepstakes Winner in
1647 GUE.
HALF-TROLL LEADER
The
fearsome leader of the half-troll clan near Shanbar was a blustering
phony. He was leader only because he stole the Necklace of Fear from
Witch Itah while she was out, that made other venal beings fear and
obey him, including the other half-trolls. When the unknown Sweepstakes
Winner dared to challenge him with the Sword of Zork in his very own
throne room, this leader relinquished the Necklace of Fear and then
fled.
OTHER TROLL FACTS:
- The URBZIG spell, which usually turns a dangerous object
into a harmless one, mysteriously has no effect on trolls.
- Troll spleens are coveted by witches for use in various
conjurations.
- Trolls are members of the Supernatural and Fantastic
Wayfarers Association. Like most races of this organization, trolls
were virtually purged from all civilizated regions during the days of
the Second Inquisition (in the first half of the eleventh century).
- Readers
acquainted with the writings of Leonardo Flathead will undoubtedly be
aware of his major treatise which he believed proved that the world
actually rests on
the head of an enormous troll, rather than the back of a giant turtle.