FESTERON
Festeron, founded by
Phineas T. Fester on the east coast of
Antharia sometime before 781 GUE, refers to both an entire country
of two islands as well as the capital
township. The two islands making
up the tiny country are Greater Festeron (also known as South Festeron)
and North Festeron. Were it not for the two rivers that divided both
islands from the mainland on their north and south sides as well as a
third (
Festeron River) that divided the islands from one another,
Festeron would have been but a landbridge disecting the
Western Sea (on
the west) from
Festeron Bay (on the east). The island was riddled with
underground passageways; secret underground tunnels that criss-crossed
the island.
Festeron Village, nestled among the trees, fills the northern tip of
Greater Festeron island, while the remainder of the island is known as
Festeron Township. Other features included
Lookout Hill on at the
northwestern corner of the island, and
Festeron Point on the
northeastern.
Misty Island, heart of the
platypus kingdom, could be seen from the western shore, always enshrouded in mist.
The island of North Festeron, joined to Greater
Festeron by
Festeron Bridge, was far more barren, with nothing
around except for dirt and dead trees, and a single well-worn path (or
perhaps a dry stream bed) that wound its way towards the island's
interior, steadily climbing to the
Ye Olde Magick Shoppe at the top.
FESTERON COMMUNITY
Festeron was seen by outsiders as so calm and so pleasant, almost as if
it had come from an earlier, more trusting time. The fundamental
principle of Festeron was: "We of Festeron are nothing if we are not
civilized." Chastity is highly valued in Festeron, as are purity, civil
obedience, and proper hygienic habits. These are things that must be
understood for the one wishing to remain in Festeron. All the boys and
girls were well-scrubbed and polite. If two of them reached an arcade
or pinball machine as the same time, they would have an argument, each
child insisting that the other one play the game first. Of course, it
was a very polite argument. Even the police force provided prisoners
with friendly tours of the village before putting them into a cell. Not
many communities had an annual week-long "
Have a Nice Day"
festival either. Despite that there was a lot of niceness in Festeron,
there was very little nobility.
- Greater Festeron
- North Festeron
FESTERON GOVERNMENTThe
local government of Festeron seeks to avoid many of the pitfalls legal
systems fall prey to. For example, just one judge will never pass
sentence in the fair country. For if that single judge had a bad day,
or did not like the color of the accused hair, or the way his shoes
were tied, would a fair sentence be expected? Thus in Festeron, three
judges were used. In this way, personal prejudice is abolished. The
judgment of three justices is three times as fair as that of one.
Therefore there were no more uninformed juries. In Festeron, there was
also no prosecutor to make everything look ten times as bad as what
actually happened, and no defense attorney to make things look
impossibly rosy.
The common Festeron courtroom procedure is divided into four steps:
- The accusations are presented by the judges
- The traditional three minutes are given for anyone to speak on behalf of the prisoners (biased testimonies are disallowed)
- Once the basic case is presented, it is the proper time for name
calling. Space had been made for it, so that those who have vented up
anger are followed to feel better, and everything is much tidier.
- Then is the time for the judges to issue their final summaries.
It
should be noted that foreigners on trial are not permitted to testify;
because of their closed-mindedness to the traditions of Festeron they
could not possibly have a clear view of the matter.
The High
Court of Festeron is terribly strict, in fact a single violation of
gambling or the refusal to sing the national anthem find death to be a
much too mild of a punishment (after an excruciatingly painful moment,
or maybe two, the miscreant is forever beyond their grasp). These
lawbreakers found themselves sentenced to far worse fate, the labor of
a postal worker as long as the court saw fit. The Festeron Armed
Services were on-hand only for matters of calamity (such as monster
invasions).
The members of the court always went on vacation whenever
Witchville took over.
FESTERON ANTHEM
At
the sound of a spontaneous foghorn, everyone who could hear, would stop
whatever they were doing, looked up at the nearest green and purple
flag, and stood at attention with their hands over their hearts. Music
blarred from island-wide loudspeakers (the same louderspeakers that
emit the foghorn noise) and the entire population was required to sing
the national anthem that ended with a fanfare. Refusal to sing was seen
as a criminal offense.
The first lines of the anthem are:
“Oh, Festeron, my Festeron,
We won’t let you get messed around!”
SOME MINOR FESTERON EVENTS
The
nation is also known for the
Mad Arsonist of Festeron, who terrorized
the region until his capture. Unconfirmed legends have also originated about a
Yodeling Skunk-Monkey of Festeron.
WISHBRINGER & WITCHVILLEBy
the
Second Age of Magic, there was something special about the two
islands that made up the republic of Festeron. There was something
there, whether the location, climate, or some element in the soil, or
perhaps a combination of all three—and that something made the place
magic. And one of the main sources of the magic was the
Wishbringer
stone. This stone, discovered on the Misty Island before 1063 GUE,
passed through several hands before coming into the possession of
Y'Gael. This stone, greatly desired by
The Evil One, would quickly be
the foundations of Festeron's transformation into
Witchville.
Noted
before only for its exemplary postal service, Festeron found its way
into the annals of history during the twelfth century when the nation
found itself thrusted into the first instance of Witchville. This 1157
GUE
Gladys' curse saw all of the familiar landmarks become twisted into
sinister new forms, as well as the innocent citizens of Festeron being
free to commit the secret dark desires of their hearts.
Because
of this curse, which became a common occurrence throughout the
remainder of the century, possibly until even the
First Great Diffusion, the
Festeron authorities issued a 6:00 PM curfew, at which time the
nation would become Witchville.
SOURCE(S): Wishbringer, (game, sample transcript), Wishbringer (novel) |