He’s
known as someone who has great taste in wine, women and fashion, but recently
Mayor Bah’ma has revealed a new side to his personality: his interest in
religious relics.
As
of last night, the call has gone out all across the land for any and all items
of great religious significance to be brought to his headquarters in Flatheadia
to be inspected by the Mayor. This is an unprecedented move on his part;
normally within the first few months of gaining office, a Mayor might summon
the most beautiful people in the town (or perhaps those with the most
interestingly shaped eyebrows) to dine at his official residence, but never
before has an elected official sought the company of deceased religious icons.
Although
many would question the sanctity, or even the sanity, of such a move, Mayor Bah’ma
has defended his decision saying, “there’s nothing unusual about following up
on an interest when you’re in a position to do so. All my life I’ve been
fascinated by the relics of our holy people. It’s only around them that we can
be 100% safe from the dead rising up and attacking us.” It is even rumored that
he always carries a piece of the famous skull of Yoruk, a tooth which had been
reported stolen in 594, although the Mayor’s office has declined to comment on
the issue.
This
is only one of the many controversies which have embroiled the Mayor since his
historic election. Despite having won a landslide election, helped in part by
his rallying slogan of “Yeah, we might be able to...” and in part by the death
of his opponent mid-campaign, he has been hit with scandal after scandal, from
his admission that while he did smoke Granola, he “did not inhale”, to his
steamy affair with a pressure cooker. But despite these revelations, he remains
as popular as ever with the man on street, who was recently quoted as saying, “Oh,
Bah’ma? Yeah, he’s okay I guess.”
Mayor Bah’ma insists that his new interest in holy relics will not detract from his other hobbies, such as yelling obscenities at passing dragons, and walking daily in the areas around his official residence. “I love walking out here,” he told us while out on his regular route, “it’s easily my favorite place to squelch about.”
| SOURCE(S): Legends of Zork |