BROGMOID
The brogmoid is a squat, hairy, troll-type creature that is
absolutely every bit as strong as he is stupid, with a life of
expectancy surpassing 200 years. In exceedingly rare cases, these
schizophrenic creatures can achieve the intelligence level of a clever
three-year-old human. Domesticated brogmoids are obediently tame and
can even be taught to perform simple tasks. In the wild, they can be
seen in huge packs sorting through rock piles looking for edible rocks
(although in the regions far north of Frobozz, they mostly keep to
themselves). Given that the digestive system of a brogmoid is no
stronger than that
of a man, there are approximately no varieties of rocks which they are
able to digest. They love to pick up rocks, smash rocks, throw rocks,
and
of course, eat rocks. Their favorite color is rocks. Their favorite
game is rocks. Their best friends are rocks. From these facts it is not
difficult to see why brogmoids live considerably longer in captivity.
The brogmoid is notoriously bad at arthematic. But what
it lacks in intelligence, it makes up for in stupidity.
To be fair, however, there is a kind of bravery born only of extreme
stupidity--and this thick fearlessness, along with a supernatural
strength and a loyal nature, makes the brogmoid the perfect companion
in the Underground--provided it is pointed in the right direction.
Brogmoids
possess an unsurpassable strength, and an insuppressible
temper to match it. The short, stout hotheads have been known to
flatten men twice their size, over a chance comment misinterpreted as
an insult to their honor. When their extreme stupidity was at its
dullest, even the slightest “Excuse me” could result in a breathtaking
squeeze from an obliging brogmoid. But with such thick wits come brave
hearts; and indeed, those who know nothing, fear nothing. They have
been known to be good imitators; the domesticated ones easily able to
feign any emotion their master wishes.
Deep Magic is the magic of the underground warrior, and much
of it is
understood instinctively by fighting races, including the brogmoid.
Though they knew little of spells, and less of everything else,
brogmoids have all the characteristics of the creatures born into the
Deep Magic of the Underground, and it would come naturally. A creature
like a brogmoid would never be able to explain why it is he was able to
know or do something, but he will know to do it, all the same.
Brogmoids
are used many times as mascots, especially within Borphee, where they
are dressed up in the team's colors with an icon or catch-phrase
printed across the breast. Some famous brogmoids include, Burble
(mid-seventh century), Cubby (mid-tenth century), and Brog.
While
these humanoids are usually peaceful, they
can occasionally
become irrational and vicious. Packs of these deranged brogmoids
infested the lands during the Great Monster Uprising.
COMMON TRAITS BETWEEN
VAREITIES
While
the brogmoid is a great hulking creature, it only gives the impression
of being great or hulking. It is both, but neither, for
though it is squat and powerful, it is only about four feet tall. The
span of its shoulders, however, nearly equals that, and its thickly
muscled arms, reach nearly to the knees of its very short legs. Two
fangs curl from its lower jaw over its upper lip on its heavily jowled
head, which add an impression of toughness. Because of the fangs,
brogmoids are not able to drink from a mug like a
human. They had to distend their lower jaws and open their mouths wide.
GREEN-SKINNED VARIETY
The
common domesticated brogmoid, the green-skinned variety, is a short,
squat, often hairy creature with a mohawk strip of hair (usually
purple). The common infotater describes this variety as being red and
purple and red and black and purple.
GRAY-SKINNED VARIETY
Apart from being gray-skinned, this variety is no
different from the green-skinned.
BLUE-SKINNED VARIETY (Brogmoidus C. Graphicus)
Though
brogmoids are generally short, hairy fellows, the rarer Brogmoidus C.
Graphicus, or blue-skinned variety, is most often hairless. The
hairless variety is known as Brogmoidus Domesticus.
GIANT BROGMOID
It
is known that the a giant brogmoid holds up Zork, while a second stands
upon Zork and holds up the Murz. (See the respective entry for more
information.)
During the
Great
Monster Uprising of the
Second
Age of Magic, deranged brogmoids were reported in the
following regions:
Frigid River Valley,
White Cliffs Beach,
Flathead Mountains,
The Gray Mountains,
Antharian Caves,
Peltoid Valley,
Mines of Mendon,
Grubbo Hills,
Mithicus Mountains,
The Lonely Mountain,
The Southern Wastes,
and the
G.U.E. Tech
Training Grounds in the
Ethereal
Plane of Atrii.
TRIVIA:
- Brogmoid carbuncle, belly-button lint, and earwax are all
coveted by
witches for use in various conjurations.
- Brogmoids
play a role in a highly amusing Siamese Twin version of Peggleboz
(early fifth century GUE), wherein one brogmoid with two heads played
on one board against itself.
UNKNOWN SONG ABOUT
BROGMOIDS
Only one repetitive line survives of this unknown song which mentions
the brogmoid.
What do you do with a drunken brogmoid,
What do you do with a drunken brogmoid.