FAMATHRIAN SNIFFLES

Famathrian Sniffles is an unremitting sneeze coupled with an extreme longing to itch the nose, which will quickly turn red and swollen. Despite the tremendous urge, it is strongly advised not to scratch the nose for any reason during this time, as doing so will only cause even greater suffering. The most effective way to resist the relentless sensation is to be strapped down.

Dimwit Flathead, who caught the Famathrian Sniffles in 765 GUE, was strapped to his bed against his will so that he was not allowed to scratch his proboscis. He wrote of his extreme longing to itch his nose, discussing in great detail the measures he wished to take in order to stop the overwhelming itch, which included, among other things, the insertion of a fully-grown porcupine up each nostril. The guards who stood watch outside his bedroom were made to pay dearly immediately following his recovery.

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SOURCE(S): Zork: Grand Inquisitor (official strategy guide)