They
came to Antharia from all corners of the kingdom: Gurth and Mithicus, the
Frigid River Valley, Borphee, even the Gray Mountains. They packed the
restaurants, and for the first time in 150 years the Rusty Knife in West Anthar
ran out of sea-serpent fillet. They completely filled the Zilton Hotel, and in
three days spent an estimated Zm20,000 on marble trinkets, Bella Quease
souvenirs, Flathead Stadium tickets, and spenseweed shakes. Yet despite the
success of the tourist trade, the pageantry, and the beautiful weather, the
115th Convention of Enchanters and Sorcerers (CES) was an unqualified disaster.
Why?
“There’s too much showing-off, too much one-upmanship between the chapters, and
no cooperation,” said Barbel of Gurth, a Guildmaster and elder member of the
Circle of Enchanters. “We’re here to share and exchange our advancements in
thaumaturgy, and to try to solve our common problems, not to compete against
each other in some sort of free-for-all. Frankly, I’m disgusted.” And so are
we.
Conventioneers
at CES seemed totally unwilling to discuss, much less resolve the problems
facing the Guild of Enchanters in and around Thriff, the crippling shortage of
Enchanters in the Gray Mountains, the grumblings of some junior Sorcerers about
“leadership stagnation,” the spiraling costs of an Enchanter’s education, the
pros and cons of regulating magic potion distribution ... all these issues and
more could have benefited from an open dialog among the chapters. Instead, the
assembled Enchanters, whose reputation for sobriety and consideration is
generally welldeserved, indulged shamelessly on Phlog and Tonics, and made an overall
nuisance of themselves.
“This
is great!” said one apprentice from the Gurth City chapter, after he had
happily cast the ZOOKA spell (“turn eggs into overripe cabbage”) just as the
Thriff chapter sat down to breakfast. Moments later, someone (probably from the
Thriff chapter) cast the STEGAW spell (“turn eggs into ripe guano”) at the
Gurth City chapter breakfast, whose members thereafter were unable to keep
anything down.
Such
pranks may seem harmless, but they do little to improve communication between
the chapters. They can also get out of hand. During the opening ceremonies on
the first evening of CES, for instance, an Enchanter from Aragain cast the
FILFRE spell (“display gratuitous fireworks”) inside Convention Hall; literally
dozens of other Enchanters subsequently cast FILFRE inside the hall, each
trying to outdo the other. Not surprisingly, the old wooden hall caught fire.
Just as someone would cast the GONDAR spell (“extinguish fire”), someone else
would claim a “better” or “improved” GONDAR spell and restart the fire to
display their talents. This went on for nearly an hour before order was called,
and the hall suffered much damage.
The
Guild of Enchanters has successfully regulated itself for hundreds of years. It
helped bring stability to the land following the turbulence of the Great
Underground Empire’s collapse, and today underwrites many fine philanthropic
foundations. How ironic and disappointing, then, that it can’t turn its wisdom
and wonder unto itself, and behave in a more professional and responsible
manner, to address its serious problems and ensure a healthier future for us
all.
| SOURCE(S): Sorcerer (Popular Enchanting), Zork Nemesis (Bivotar's journal), Zork Quest II |