ZORKMID
"A zorkmid saved is a zorkmid earned."
-unknown
The gold zorkmid was the main unit of currency of the Great
Underground Empire, and is still used in most parts of the kingdom
today. Although zorkmids (as well as zorkies and zorkles) had been in
circulation long before even the time of Duncanthranx, curtosey of the
zorkmid tree, the first zorkmid was minted on Augur 16, 699
GUE,
during the
reign of Belwit the Flat. This coin bore the likeness of Belwit, the
year, and the coin's value on the front, while on the back it had a
picture of Egreth Castle, with the motto "In Frobs We Trust" stamped in
two different languages.
Since the steady supply of zorkmid
coinage had gradually dwindled after the Zorkmid Blight, it was
Belwit's creative and daring response to this economic crisis that saw
the birth of the minted zorkmid, the stable currency upon which we
still rely today. He took the radical step of ordering the minting of
the first regular issue of Quendoran zorkmids. Although the order
itself came down from the throne in 695, it was not until the third
week in Augur, 699, that the mints underneath Egreth were finally
readied to stamp the first coin with a design that had been four years
in the making. Historians are still puzzled over the reasons behind
Belwit's decision to begin the production of official,
government-approved zorkmids. Regardless, it is clear that the advanced
system of currency that was put into official use by Belwit was not in
fact a new system.
Zorkmids of different denominations were
later issued, including the 500 and 10,000 zm coins, and the 100 zm
bill. The
largest issue was a 100,000 zm bill. Only one of these was ever
printed, at the request of J. Pierpont Flathead.
One
of the biggest bafflements of history are the inscriptions found upon
the 100zm bill and the 10,000 zm coin. The bill is dated in the year
719 GUE, and respectively, the coin in the year 722, but Dimwit
Flathead, whose face appears on both, was not even born until the year
723. Countless theories have abounded in attempt to solve this mystery,
the most popular being: it was an unauthentic forgery, a
misprint,
a different Flathead, or another case of time travel. A time travel
device was once present in the Royal Museum, so time travel is
definitely not out of the question, and perhaps should taken more
seriously as the solution to this dilemma.
Another bizarity is
the "657 GUE" Idwit Oogle Flathead 1zm coin, which is indentical in
every respect to the "857 GUE" coin save the date. Although a few
historians suspect this as another case of time travel, this one is
most likely due to a misprint.
Other events linked to the
zorkmid include the minting of thousands upon thousands of golden
zorkmids for the sole purpose of being spent by the royal treasury in
an effort to finance Dimwit's remarkable and excessive ceremonies and
construction projects. It should also be noted that by the end of 789
GUE, every single zorkmid of commerce in the Great Underground Empire
was controlled by FrobozzCo Inc.
It
may also be interesting to note that although the zorkmid was not being
minted yet, by the end of the reign of Zylon the Aged (398 GUE), nearly
every coin in the
Quendor treasury bore the wizened likeness of him; no other king had
held the throne in over three hundred
years. Even in those days, the gold pieces minted in the distant age of
Entharion the Wise
and Mysterion the Brave were valuable collector’s items almost
impossible to find.
CONVERSION CHART
1 zorkmid = 10 silver zorkles
1 zorkimd = 100 copper zorkie
Zorkmid Souvenir PressZorkmid Pressed into Letter OpenerZorkmid Change Machine
(A) /
(B)
TYPES
OF KNOWN CURRENCY |
|
TYPE |
YEAR |
PORTRAIT |
DESCRIPTION |
IMAGE |
1zm
copper coin |
699 |
Belwit
the Flat |
The
coin bears the likeness of
Belwit the Flat, along with the inscriptions, "One Zorkmid," and "699
GUE." On the other side, the coin depicts Egreth Castle, and says "In
Frobs We Trust" inseveral languages. |
front
back
both
pile of (A) pile of (B) |
1zm
gold coin |
? |
Dimwit
Flathead |
The
coin pictures a man with an incredibly flat head, wearing a gaudy
crown. |
|
1zm
coin (A) |
857 |
Idwit
Oogle Flathead |
|
front |
1zm
coin (B) |
657 |
Idwit
Oogle Flathead |
This
coin is most likely a misprint of the above. |
front |
5zm
coin |
? |
? |
This
is a rare quint coin,
similar in shape and size to an old Chinese coin, complete with a
square hole in its center. Stamped on its face is "5 Zorkmids." |
|
5zm
bill |
? |
? |
? |
|
10zm
bill |
? |
? |
? |
|
100zm
bill |
719 |
Dimwit
Flathead |
Each
bill is worth 100 zorkmids, and bears the legend "In Frobs We Trust." |
front |
500zm
gold coin |
? |
? |
? |
|
500zm
bill |
? |
unknown
person |
? |
front |
10000zm
coin |
722 |
Dimwit
Flathead |
This
is a beautiful octagonal coin bearing the legends "Ten Thousand
Zorkmids" and "In Frobs We Trust". (These were rare collector's items
by the mid-tenth century). |
front |
100000zm
bill |
? |
? |
The
denomination of the bill is 100,000 zorkmids. Only one such bill was
ever printed, and that was at the personal request of J. Pierpont
Flathead. |
|
?
silver coin |
? |
Boat |
This
zorkmid is possibly an Obolus. These grow on zorkmid trees and have
been used to buy passage to Ferryman's Isle. |
front |
TRIVIA:- The zorkmid is the substance of an age-old question, "Is a zorkmid truly the
root of boll weevils?"
SOURCE(S): X ??? (for boll weevil question) |