ZILBO THROCKROD III (ZIL)
Zilbo Throckrod III was the fourteenth and final king of the
Entharion Dynasty. He came to the throne in 628 GUE, after Mumbo II and
ruled the kingdom for 31 years until he was succeeded by
Duncanthrax the Bellicose, the first king of the Flathead Dynasty, on
the last day of 659 GUE.
During his lifetime, Zilbo III invented the brass trombuoy, and wrote several sonatas for trombuoy
and danvictorhorn. He was a pleasant, agreeable, well-mannered
king. In other words, he was boring beyond the realm of any Quendoran
citizen’s tolerance. Many realized that Zilbo III was no longer fit
to rule Quendor. He preferred to spend his days playing card games,
instead of managing the bureaucracy and looking after the business of
the kingdom. Ambassadors and dignitaries were left waiting while he
dealt hands with gossipy little blue-haired old ladies. Not that the
king’s subjects had anything against gossip—it was just that it was
never interesting gossip.
But most importantly, the welfare of
Quendor depended on military waste and overspending. Zilbo III, as
boring as he was, was not interested, and without this excessive
spending, thousands of bureaucrats and politicians, not to mention half
the admirals and generals, were out of the kind of work that kept their
conniving minds occupied, and otherwise turned loose on a hapless and
unwary public. Thus for the last ten years of Zilbo III's reign, most of Quendor had sunk into a bitter depression
However, some historians have suggested that the sudden and thorough
natural destruction of the zorkmid harvest throughout the Westlands led
to a rapid succession of economic disasters. Unable to salvage the
situation, and helpless against critics of his reign, Zilbo’s days as
king were numbered. It has even been pointed out that such a rapid
shortage of hard currency would have made it impossible for the royal
court at Largoneth to make regular payments to its military units and
commanding officers. If Duncanthrax was, as some sources have
suggested, a general in the Royal Militia, it could in fact have been
his dissatisfaction with the lack of regular income that led him to
seek the throne. In any case, much of the anxiety that had shaken
Quendor with the death of the zorkmid trees was washed away by the
exciting course of events that followed the revolution.
It seems that during
the reign of Zilbo III, or sometime prior that an alternate Royal
Palace had been constructed in the city of Borphee, and in several
sources during his reign. Zilbo himself
spent much time in the Borphee Palace, perhaps vacationing, perhaps
attending to affairs of state from a more centralized location.
Of
the many theories of what happened during the New Year's Revolt, the
following is what our researchers believe is the most accurate account:
On the thirty-first of Dismembur, Zilbo III had taken vacation
to
the frequently occupied Royal Palace in Borphee. This was also the day
of the planned revolt. Duncanthrax, furious over an alleged shortage of
mosquito netting, led
the revolution to overthrow the king. It was not for this reason that
the rest of the rest of the subjects of Quendor joined him to storm
Castle Largoneth, they were just desperate for a more interesting
ruler. Conveniently, in the process Duncanthrax declared himself the
new king of Quendor upon the alleged removal of Zilbo III.
Little
is known about what became of Zilbo III after 659. One rumor stated
that he was beheaded during the palace revolt; another stated that he
simply died from too much reveling while celebrating the upcoming New
Year. Recent uncovered documents prove both of those, and many other
fables to be false. Satchmoz insists, along with several other writers,
that Zilbo survived the revolt. Whether he had celebrated New Year's
Eve in Borphee, or had in fact fled there after the outbreak of
violence at Largoneth is not certain. What is for sure is that by the
first day of 660, Zilbo was alone, isolated from his court and
unprotected by any military power. When Duncanthrax himself had gone to
Borphee for his coronation celebration (or perhaps his ascension was
commenced there instead due to his eager pursuit of the missing former
monarch) Zilbo had decided to walk away from the Borphee throne without
saying a word to anyone. He just left a note that read, “I resign.” Duncanthrax
was unable to find Zilbo, but placed enough guards to restrict him from
leaving the metropolis.
Immediately following the coronation, Drespo
Molmocker, took on the appearance of Duncanthrax and had the real Duncanthrax imprisoned. Molmocker had
intended to impersonate Zilbo III, but trying to replicate a thousand
little queer personality quirks would have easily tripped him up. Unable to
escape from Borphee due to the heavily guarded gates and streets that
were had been flooded with the king’s soldiers since the coronation,
Zilbo III went into hiding behind the vast city walls.
Pseudo-Duncanthrax was unwilling to admit that Zilbo had escaped from
his hands. He feared that if the former king was found alive, that a
new rebellion would arise. His fears were unfounded, as it appears
unlikely that even a single soul would have been in favor of the boring
former king. Regardless, Pseudo-Duncanthrax insisted that his soldiers
find and murder Zilbo before any realized that he still lived. Using
the alias “Zil”, Zilbo III remained hidden within Borphee until 665 GUE.
After secretly dwelling within the Borphee
city limits for five years, the usurped king furthered the developments
of his very own card game which, when completed, would be known as
Double Fanucci. His scheme was for thousands of rich bored old people
in retirement homes across the country to love it. He dreamed of making
a quiet, personal fortune by publishing rulebooks and strategies and
variations on the strategies, not to mention the playing fees he would
collect from workshops and demonstration games. Physical pursuits had
never interested Zilbo much, and thus the five years of poverty did not
bother him. He simply entertained himself long into the evenings with
his card game. But finally, that spring, the chance came for him to
make his break. Zilbo slyly escaped the heavily guarded city and headed
inland from Borphee.
In
those days, Zilbo was described as an old man leaning on a thick morgia
wood staff with a gnarly hand, almost totally concealed in a dusty
brown cloak and hood. His voice was firm and throaty, though it
betrayed a certain weariness. His
blue eyes sparkled like sapphires, and a thick iron-gray mane flowed
down over his neck, past his collar and into the cloak. There was a
jovial kindness in his face, and he had the features of a man who
laughed a lot.
On his stealthy departure from the city, Zilbo
briefly met with Caspar Wartsworth, another figure of historical
importance. He simply warned Caspar about the dangers of the city, told
him to refrain from telling anyone that they had met, and travelled
westward. In the process he neglected to take his leather
wine bottle,
marked with the initial “Z”. Caspar snatched the bottle before heading
into Borphee.
Having
escaped the confines of Borphee, Zilbo merely exiled to a Mithican
villa so he could devote the remainder of his life to inventing the
popular card game Double Fanucci. Within the next five years, the card
game was finalized and released to the public. And as early as 670 GUE,
Double Fanucci was already the most popular game of all Zork.
TRIVIA:
Zilbo's mother,
a stout old sow, could drink any any three men under the table, and
frequently did. She had taught her son an old sea chanty, which
ironically had the same melody as a work song from the Peltoid Valley
of Antharia.
Dance me ladies to the riggin’s hum
When the moonlight’s ridin’ high,
And the wind is wild, and the sails are full,
And the waves are sweepin’ by.
Dance me ladies to the canvas crack,
And the creak and groan of timbers.
‘Round and ‘round—we’re goin’ down,
this ship and all its members!