YANNICK THE ELDER

Yannick the Elder named him son Mir when his expectant wife told him that she had a surprise, and he would have to guess what it was. He guessed a sack of gold, a sack of wheat, and finally even a good, sturdy sack. So when his wife answered him, “Nay, merely another Yannick,” the unfortunate name "Mir Yannick" stuck. Yannick the Elder saw magic in terms of its affordability, profitability and fiduciary viability. Being a yeoman farmer who bred platypus for pie, he was paid Zm500 a term so his son could attend GUE Tech and learn the proper spell set to make his grain grow golden and tall (THROCK “causes plants to grow”) and his platypi grow fat and furry (a variant of CONBAK “causing bodies to grow in twelve different ways”) so that at the end of the year the profits ledger might for once equal the costs.

Unfortunately his son did not have the Gift and every attempt at harnessing the powers of magic met with humiliating failure. After the First Age of Magic had ended in 966 GUE, Yannick the Elder reasoned that although his son would be no use in the platypus-fattening department, perhaps he could at least pray for the financial security of his family. And so it seemed Mir had finally found the perfect calling for a slightly lazy, fairly greedy, and moderately educated person with no particular skills of any sort—he became a Zorkastrian Brother.