VALHALLA
HILTON
The Valhalla Hilton is one of the most popular hotels in the Ethereal
Planes. No matter what time of the year it was, the region was cold and
gray and blustery, yet it had a spartan, cold elegance.
Every day the Valhalla Hilton accommodated pseudo-gods (including the
semi-super, lower-level types). They served wizards, witches, elves,
trolls, dwarves, demons, spirits, every sort of magical or supernatural
creature--pagans and heathens, heretics, the good, the bad, and the
ones who could maybe do something with their hair. In fact, the
Valhalla Hilton serves supernatural beings mere mortals are not even to
put a name to. And on top of everything else, each one of these
pseudo-gods or supernatural beings assumes he would be able to carry on
his regular and often obscene rites in his own room at the Hilton, or
in one of the functon rooms. They also expect the hotel to supply
whatever weird, unreal, or merely rare item might be needed at any
moment. Blood was a cinch for them. They had vampires calling down at
all hours of the night for it.
The location of the annual Joseph Campbell Awards since its origins
long before Entharion the Wise, alternated between the Valhalla Hilton
and the Elysian Fields.
Each room in the Hilton came with the following warning:
"In
case of fire, do not panic. After all, you may be invulnerable. If
after several minutes you discover that you are in fact beginning to
burn, you may exercise any of several options. First, this may be only
Magic Fire, in which case you will only fall asleep for centuries and
centuries and be awakened with a kiss. The management of this hotel
makes no guarantee that the fire you encounter will be of this variety.
Second, the fire may actually be Zeus or Marduk or one of the truly
major personages who frequently accept the amenities of this hotel, and
they may be merely attempting to seduce you in their typically obscure
way. In such a situation, your response is best left up to your own
moral posture. However — and this point cannot be stressed too highly —
it may indeed be that the fire is just regular old fire and that you
are in serious danger of dying in a horrible conflagration. Our advice
to you in this third scenario is: Don't. Escape will seem like the most
profitable course of action, even to the dullest-witted."