SPIKE THE PROTECTOR

Spike the Protector was born in the Dungeon of Zork sometime between 947-949 GUE, from a union between Lucien Kaine and Threnia, the Muse of Modern Fantasy Novels. Abandoned as an orphan at birth or close thereafter, Spike lived in the subterranean maze beneath the White House for most of his life, studying it in the finest detail, finding his way through the hopelessly tangled mazes, and learning to tread in the footsteps of his father’s trade, eventually replacing him as the new thief of the Dungeon in the decade before the End of the First Age of Magic (966 GUE). Thus the underground was Spike’s area of expertise. He claimed there was not one vault, one passage, one chamber, not even one broken gray boulder that he did not know intimately. When new traps and puzzles were put in place by the evil forces at work within those tunnels, Spike solved them all, and additionally provided protection for those who willingly put themselves into his care. All operations were carried out from his father’s former Treasure Room.

Spike learned to harness a great quantity of luminia. Deceiving the plant in his possession to glow longer than usual, he smeared it upon himself as a long-lasting light source.

Spike additionally followed the careers of the hemi-demi-semigods of the Supernatural and Fantastic Wayfarer’s Association who were his heroes. He could recite statistic after statistic, like a walking encyclopedia of the wraith wonders who had made the grade. He was a callow fan, but he knew all of Glorian’s exploits and triumphs, including his dismal failures when overwhelmed by the forces of evil.

When Morgrom was appointed File Restorer, the door that used to be smashed open between the White House’s living room and the Cyclops Room was repaired. The Essence of Evil actually let Spike live in peace in the old treasure room, who thought that the child would grow up to follow in his father’s footsteps.

When Mirakles and Glorian met Spike on an indeterminate close to the collapse of magic, he was still a young boy, possibly not even into his teens. The Protector was no more than four feet tall, lanky-limbed, and thin as six stalks of wheat. His sex was difficult to determine upon appearance, and could not be confirmed except by his own confession or spiritual insight. Spike’s ears were conspicuously pointed, and they stuck up out of long, unruly blond hair. His eyes were long and almond-shaped, and colored the palest shade of gray. And his elfin-like hands were longer-fingered. The rest of the thief’s body was hairless and naked, except for a torn and ragged shift of tiger-striped nylon worn for the sake of modesty.  The only other remarkable feature about The Protector was that the small being's entire body glowed with luminia. It gleamed a luminous golden yellow, so bright that pamphlets could have been read in the light. He spoke with a strange, high-pitched, nasal voice.

Unwilling to be rejected by Glorian, Spike lied to them by claiming that his glow was the result of magic (that it just went on and on and there was nothing he could do about it), and that his occult powers had been great enough to win him entrance into the select circle of the Supernatural and Fantastic Wayfarers Association only a month prior. While it is uncertain which if any of the following is truth, the Protector also claimed the following: that he had been a big fan of Glorian since he could only grow as bright as half a firefly, Spike was the name his friends at home called him, Spike had always given Glorian his vote. It was later revealed to Glorian by the Autoexec that these were lies—Spike had no supernatural qualities at all and was not a member of the Association.

Spike had only known Mirakles briefly before he made away with his father’s scroll. He had not done it out of malice, only because there had been so few opportunities to do any stealing at all. Spike accompanied Glorian of the Knowledge throughout the entirety of the quest. In fact, unbeknownst to any of them, Spike acted as Glorian’s supernatural guide, just as Glorian acted as Mirakles’. The Protector was a faithful companion to Glorian, starting with the battle against Shugreth the Unenviable, in which Mirakles was a casualty. Seeking to recover his body from Hades, Glorian and Spike descended into its depths. There Spike finally met his father, Lucien, who had recently been killed. His father gave them 5 oboli in exchange for a drink of blood which Glorian had brought inside with them. These oboli were essential for paying Charon to ferry them across the underworld’s rivers and back with Mirakles. Spike was the one who warned Mirakles about the kimono dragon and a steadfast partner in standing against Morgrom’s zombies in the Bank of Zork.

But once the Golden Dipped Switch and Hot Key had been uncovered, Spike admitted to his theft of Mirakles’ scroll immediately upon their first meeting. Realizing the extent of the crime, the thief returned the scroll to its rightful owner and was ready to abide by the barbarian’s judgment. Mirakles showed a rare note of forgiveness, since he knew that Spike was the son of the thief and had only been doing what was in his nature. But the brawny hero warned him not attempt such a feat again. Spike was honest the remainder of the quest, assisting Mirakles and Glorian in their battle against the Autoexec and his horde of mundanes. When Mirakles was required by oath to return the Golden Dipped Switch to Morgrom, Spike confounded the Essence of Evil’s plans by stealing the Copper and Silver Switches off the time machine. Before another confrontation with Morgrom could erupt, the Control Character arrived, deleted Morgrom from existence.

Spike was rewarded by the Control Character for the completion of the quest. Being much younger, he did not score as many points as the other companions, but he had a long and wonderful career ahead of him. As his mother, Threnia had been a muse, he was a supernatural being, and thus he was awarded with admission as a Neophyte Probationary in the Supernatural and Fantastic Wayfarers Association.