GREAT
UNDERGROUND SUBWAY
The Great Underground Subway, informally known as the Underground
Underground, is also a political movement. Installed sometime shortly
before
966 GUE, this subway was rumored to be the fastest way to get around
underground, barring spells, potions, and all other forms of sorcereous
spatial manipulations. But there were a few cutbacks, and then a few
more, and thus its usefulness was hindered by a couple of rather
serious flaws.
First,
it was somewhat difficult to navigate through the myriad of
disconnected subway lines and reach any sort of intended destination.
And since the subway would not pick one up unless a target location was
entered, few people were ever able to get on board. Secondly, the
engineers never got around to installing the brakes. Thus once a
destination was somehow chosen, one had to wait at the edge of the
platform and assume crash position as a giant white hand snatched the
intended passager off the ground, depositing them within the car.
Unboarding was done in much the same manner.
There were at least
six subway stations known of: near Port Foozle, Flood Control Dam
#3, Steppinthrax Monastery, Hades, and an unknown station that
was
removed from the destination list by 1067 GUE. Prior to that same year,
the escalator of the Steppinthrax Monastery station was demolished by
the Grand Inquisitor in order to prevent unauthorized access to the
Great Underground Empire.
For a time, one of the subway cars was plagued by the droppings of a
hungus.
