THE TWELVE FLATHEADS

As every student of history knows, the Twelve Flatheads were the greater part of the Thirteen Significant Accomplishments of King Mumberthrax the Insignificant. In the immortal words of Boswell Barwell, the royal biographer:

"Mumberthrax's place in history was secured by the one thing at which the Flatheads tended to excel: procreation. He sired twelve amazing children; twelve offspring who would transform the kingdom. As these magnificent siblings grew in notoriety, as their vast achievements became legendary, they became known as The Twelve Flatheads."

The first of the twelve, Dimwit, was born in 723 GUE, 25 years before the birth of the youngest, Babe. All of the twelve were killed on 14 Mumberbur 789 as a result of the Curse of Megaboz. Although several of the twelve bodies were disputed to have never been recovered, an underground crypt in the Eastlands in the Dungeon of Zork is advertised as holding the mortal remains of the Twelve.

In 966 GUE, falsehood-in-advertising charges were being investigated against the author of the following sign over the crypt: "Here lie the Flatheads, whose heads were placed on poles by the keeper of the Dungeon for amazing untastefulness."  But all researchers have failed to find any fraudulence in this. All recent investigation points that these are in fact the twelve bodies of the Twelve Flatheads (especially taking into consideration the curses appended to the bodies). While this archaeological dilemma has never been adequately solved, some still believe today that the crypt merely holds accurate models of the heads of the Flatheads.

More information on each of the Twelve can be found in the following specific entries: Dimwit, John D., T.J. "Stonewall", Johann Sebastian, J. Pierpont, Thomas Alva, Leonardo, Lucrezia, Ralph Waldo, John Paul, Frank Lloyd, and Babe Flathead.