Born in 726 GUE, T.J. "Stonewall" Flathead received his celebrated
nickname while serving as a Squire in the Royal Army during the famous
seven-week Battle of The Stonewall in 747 GUE. The Stonewall was a
strategically vital locale, commanding the two most important caverns
of the Eastlands. When reports arrived that rebellious natives had
captured The Stonewall, taking the old fort as their principle
headquarters, T.J. Flathead and his garrison were assigned the
mission of retaking it.Stonewall Flathead was the first to use the massive feint as a brilliant military tactic. He realized that a straight on attack would cause many of his wealthier trained soldiers to perish. Dividing his army, he attacked directly with his small band of peasant conscripts while his trained soldiers circled and attacked from the rear smaller wall. The tactic was a complete success and resulted in total surprise. The garrison stormed The Stonewall.
Unfortunately, the information about the old fort had been erroneous and the opposing forces had not taken the wall or its fort. The supposedly rebellious natives were actually all vacationing in the Gray Mountains and The Stonewall was completely undefended. When the smaller army of peasants appeared at the battlement so quickly and without a fight, the conscripts mistook the elite brigade for the enemy. This was unfortunate for the peasants, as the elite brigade was both well-named and vengeful. The vast majority of the peasant army was soon slaughtered and the elite brigade took command of The Stonewall. Nevertheless, had the enemy in fact been there, the strategy would surely have been a successful one. T.J.'s men suffered a casualty rate of nearly 75%, but his tactics during the battle were brilliant, and he would henceforth be known as Stonewall Flathead.
Stonewall rose quickly through the ranks, and in 755 GUE he became General of the Royal Army. During his 34 years in command, he squelched three provincial rebellions and over 12,000 tax riots. Fortunately, his unlimited conscription powers helped mitigate the 98% casualty rate his army suffered during these difficult battles. One of Stonewall Flathead's mounts was a unicorn named Wilma.
Stonewall died on 14 Mumberbur 789 GUE during the Battle of Ragweed Gulch, when he was accidentally shot by one of his own men.
His corpse was later placed in the Tomb of the Twelve Flatheads and his skull upon a pole outside the same crypt by the "Keeper of the Dungeon." Although dead, the Twelve Flatheads foresaw that some cretin might tamper with their remains. Therefore, they took steps to punish trespassers with a curse. It is assumed that his remains are still there to this day