THE DRUNK

A local character, dwelling in Port Foozle, had a penchant for yelling obscenities at the clouds, moon, or anyone; and infamous for his impersonation of Dimwit Flathead eating a kebab. His usual haunts included the back alleys, the bars, and only the most disreputable dustbins. Despite his distasteful reputation, this annoynmous Drunk with brawler arms, taught the fine art of unarmed combat for a small fee. Thus, many adventurers sought him during the Great Monster Uprising. The fees were as following (princes reflect the Zorkmid inflation of the period):

SKILL	COST(Zm)	OFFICIAL FROBOZZCO RATING
Dutch Courage	4,000	+1 against "Shock & Awe" attitude
Bait and Taunt	6,000	+1 against "Smart Moves" attitude
Headbutt	10,000	+1 when using "Fists & Feet" attacks
Jellybones	18,000	+1 when using "Sticks & Stones" attacks
Numbness	30,000	+1 Health Point

Apart from being the only person to have postulate a unique theory about the origins of rat-ants ("Who knows and who cares? They're vicious little buggers, but taste better than what I slept in last night."), the Drunk took part in two notable events of the Great Monster Uprising:

THE GREMLIN INFESTATION
When a gremlin infestation spread all across the known lands for a few weeks, on a certain Mud Day, this infamous drunk was infused with a temporal ability to teach two alternate skills, “Hadouken” instead of “Dutch Courage” and “Falcon Punch” instead of “Headbutt.” After the this specific gremlin had been detected and incarcerated, the Drunk was told off for having taught these shocking skills.


THE WIZARD OF AG
The time came when his drinking habits became so terrible that the Drunk was informed that he needed a new liver. This had been found out, after the famous "Detective Softly" found him sprawled out unconscious and took him to Mick's Chop Shop. Frequently the Drunk used to come to visit the Wizard of Ag along the Gurth Woodland Trail and scare bears for him in exchange for hangover cures, and he knew that this was the perfect person to acquire a liver from. Attending the duo on their travels was a kobold (who could not snarl properly), and a lucksucker (who was unlucky). They two were in search of what they were missing.

Upon arriving at the house of the Wizard of Ag, his assistant (which was a raven) informed them that the wizard was away at some kind of gala event for the opening of a pathway. The party tracked down the Wizard of Ag at the Port Foozle Casino. He was willing to help the tree, but first he needed the spines of one of the few plants that grew near the edge of the world (Kovalli Desert). Then they had to travel to the only place in Quendor where seafood casserole is banned and get him one of their exquisite baskets (Crab Island).

They plucked one spine after another off the cactus, then headed to the Crab Island to get a basket. It took them four whacky attempts at burglary, three embarrassing beatings from crabs, and one even more embarrassing incident with the Drunk, before being able to snatch one of the crabs’ famous claw-woven baskets.

There was a gala opening, but the Grand Wizard had a little too much fermented dreamscape and set fire to the hall, so all the other wizards left. When they inquired if the Grand Wizard knew where the Wizard of Ag was, he waved a hand. The room shimmered and tendrils of smoke appears, forming the rough outline of a shape, hovering tentatively in front of you. It looked like a square with a triangle on top of it (or in our language, a house), which meant the home of the Wizard of Ag.

When they found him there, the Wizard gave proper advise to the kobold and lucksucker, while the Drunk was given a new liver, while the others waited for the surgery's completion outside the Wizard's hut. After it had been completed, the Drunk was immediately ready for action, stealing a pair of ruby-encrusted boots from the hut, tossing them to Softly, and then making a run for the woods. With shouts of alarm from the hut, the group scattered. The Drunk returned with "Softly" to Port Foozle.

SOURCE(S): Legends of Zork