DRAGON
Initially created by the Implementor Belegur, the term dragon once
included a large variety of massive lizards, until they began to
decline in the days following the Brogmolithic Volcano
Epozz. Now
all that survive are the monsterous, large, winged breed that breathe
forth fire and smoke; but even this species, which were fairly common
in the old days, encountered a little problem in the form of Dimwit
Flathead, who took it into his head to hold a feast on the meat of 300
slaughtered dragons. Since that his reign, dragon-sightings have been
extremely rare in the Eastlands, but many have since regathered on the
western shores of the Shallow Sea where they have restored their once
diminished population. During this time of replenishment (which was
still in progress during the mid-tenth century), few dragons ventured
forth from these hatching grounds.
Immolation
is not the only threat from dragons; merely gazing into the eyes of
certain breeds is enough to turn the beholder into stone. Found in a
wide variety of colors, dragon hide is tough as steel, even at the
points which would be considered the weakest--both rock and sword
bounce off harmlessly. If one manages to shed dragon blood, the
creature heals rather quickly. Thus one of the surest ways to defeat a
dragon is to rip out their hearts, but this provides difficulty as
dragon anatomy is different than that of humans (and at the time of
this publication its whereabouts has not been determined). Explosives
are not an effective means to dispose of a dragon, as their
fire-resistant bellies are easily able to digest such devices. Even a
sleeping dragon is potent; as with every snorty breath, a little puff
of flame emerges from the nostrils.
High Magic is best
understood by dragons, who are still fluent in the Old Tongue, the
ancient runic language which empowers them above all magical creatures.
They do
not speak in the tongues of men, but can easily be understood with a
basic NITFOL spell. Their voices can be so deep that the listener feels
it rather than hears it; finding themselves almost hypnotized by the
resonance. Although quite intelligent, dragons are also notoriously
naive, this
being clearly demonstrated by the fact that two dragons, Smaug
and
Leblong, were each killed in the tenth century when they were startled
by their own reflection.
When dragons mate, they mate just once for life, and the only sure way
to tell a dragon's sex is to ask it politely.
One
of the largest superstitions is the relationship between dragons and
good luck. All sorts of rumors in this sphere have been told, from
saying that a dragon's eternal gratitude is a bite of luck, to those
that consider the rare sight of an airborne dragon to be a omen of
prosperity. Regardless of the so-called "good luck", humans for
centuries have taken quite a liking to dragon meat, which has been
prepared in many forms, especially burgers, and even their eggs make
many a fine breakfast meals. Even their scales are used in a wide
plethora of incantations and potions. (The list price for a singel
scale in 957 GUE was zm10.)
Some
famous historical dragons include Leblong (early tenth century), Smaug
(948 GUE), Chuck (mid-tenth century), Thermofax (mid-tenth
century), and the Watchdragon, said to be the most fierce dragon of all.
During
the Great Monster Uprising of the Second Age of Magic, dragons were
reported in the following regions: The Gray Mountains (including the
Gray Mountains Asylum), Mines of Mendon, Egreth Castle, The Lonely
Mountain, and the G.U.E. Tech Training Grounds in the Ethereal Plane
of Atrii.
TRIVIA:
- Dragons frequently refer to other intelligent species as "flameless
ones."
- Most dragons are able to consume heavy explosives without suffering any sort of ailment.
- Dragons often employ vast, sparkling mounds of treasure as mattresses.
-
There
was unfortunately, a homosexual dragon club (its known years of
operation included the mid-tenth century), titled the Every-Third
Saturday of the Month Leather Club, which was shunned by a majority of
the dragon population.
MISS UNDERGROUND MANNERS' FORMAL RULES FOR IMMOLATING HUMANS
- One should always introduce oneself before incinerating the human in
question. Making a bad impression could injure your sterling
reputation, should your victim somehow manage to survive.
- Immolation can often be an embarrassing moment for a human. There's no
need to mock or intimidate your victim with malicious peals of laughter
or wicked masks of hatred. Instead, put him at ease with a compliment,
or a light remark.
- If recent gourmet experiences have included
such elements as garlic, onion, or rotgrub, one should politely excuse
oneself and rinse one's maw with a fresh, minty solution before spewing
flames at the human. Humans can be particularly sensitive to that most
unpleasant phenomenon known as "bad breath."