The Zork Library Forum

I remember that many of us had fun making up a Zork text game on the forum. I'll try and start it again.

Remember you should write something totally random so that in the end it'll be funny. But also remember previous stuff. If one decides to place an item in the game try and find a use for it.

You are standing outside your house. It is a sunny day, nothing could go wrong. Well except for the mysterious dissapearence of all the inhabitance in the town. All the streets are empty and the smallest noise can be heard.
A road leads east and west.

>go west.

You are standing in the center of town. There is the local mall to the north and a collection of urban blocks to the south. For some reason there is a giant hole to the west blocking your way.
Nearby lies a silvery metal box.

Ok, I guess I'll try...

>down

Are you out of your mind?

>get box

It won't budge.

>open box

It's locked.

>north

You are in front of the mall. The front entrance is blocked by a huge clearance sale sign. (???) The parking lot is almost empty except for a black Camaro.

>look into car

You can see that a person is sitting at the front seat. His head is bend backwards and he looks pretty much dead.

>enter mall

Your are inside a huge shopping mall. All kinds of shops that sells all kinds of stuff (mostly useless stuff). There is a Frobozz Magic Poster shop to the west and a Frobozz Magic Pencil shop to the east. To the north lies more of the mall and the exit is to the south.
Suddenly a man appears out of thin air.
"Buy my products. This will improve your life, garangtee. No catch, just buy the wonderful products."
Apparently he is talking to you.
"Hello sir. How about a fine example of Frobozz Magic Cheese Cutter?"

>go north.

The man is blocking the way.
"How about a Frobozz Magic Vacuum Cleaner?"

>go west.

The man is blocking the way.
"Okay, then how about a Frobozz Magic Toiletseat?"

>buy something

You don't have any money.
"You are going to like this. A Frobozz Magic Bouncy Castle. Great for cheering up the kids."

>kill man

What do you want to kill the man with?

>I

letter opener
a bag of peanuts
a letter

>kill man with peanuts

The man sees the nuts and runs off, complaining about his fatal allergies.

>open letter

With what?

>letter opener

Inside the envelope is a note from your mom reminding you to walk Pep when you can and an antique sword of Elvish workmanship.

>north

You are in the huge food court. There are about 537 restaraunts here, all using the Frobozz Magic Food Dispenser. There is a McFlatheads to the east and a Frobo Bell to the west. South is the entrance to the mall and north is an intersection.

There is also a Frobozz Magic Potato here.

>get potato

You pick up the potato.

>go east

As you enter the McFlathead the heavy smell of fast food hits you. You can hear bubbling from the kitchen. Obivously the staff forgot to turn off before suddenly dissapearing.
There is a door leading to the kitchen and a path leading out of the McFlathead to the west.

>enter kitchen

Inside the kitchen it is boiling hot. Pots and pans is placed on heaters and has juicy beefs and other junk food stuff.
A geek-faced guy appears from the entrance to the shop.

"Oh god Flathead, you are here! Listen, all of the citizense has dissapeared as you've probably noticed. It has been forseen by the great high-tech Orcs eons ago with their incredible computers. You are the only one left you must..."

You interrubt the geek-faced guy by noting that since he is here to you are not the only one.

"Oh yeah. Hmmm." Suddenly the geek-faced guy's eyes widen and he explodes leaving a terrible mess in the restuarant. Guess you are the only one left now.

Okay, this is my last one for a while, some other people need to be doing this!

>fry potato
(cut it up)
You chop up the potato into shoestrings and throw them in the oil. After a few minutes, the turn golden brown.
Ronhead McFlathead walks in and gives you a note.

>I
You are carrying:
a letter opener
a letter (opened)
a sword of Elvish workmanship
fries
a note
a bag of peanuts

Someone else please post!! Only two people have been doing this!

Since I don't want this topic to die, here goes my attempt.

>out

You are back outside of the kitchen.

>read note

"Thank you.  To receive your paycheck, go north, east, west, then south."

>north

You walk north a bit.  Seems basically the same.

>east

Still nothing different.  This doesn't appear to be accomplishing much.

>west

Still trying?  Give up.

>south

Congratulations on walking in a complete circle.  You are back where you started.  On the ground is a hammer and a plush dornbeast.

>take hammer and dornbeast

Taken.

>open box

It's locked.

>hit lock with hammer

As you try to hit the lock with the hammer, a lone security troll walks up to you, taps you on the head with his pinky (knocking you out), and carries you away.

You awaken in...

Cell A

This is a grey cell inside the mall where punks, thieves, shoplifters, and other generally bad people are held.  The door to the south is locked and a small bed with a mattress lies in one corner.

> eat matress

You Die! j/k although you end up with a VERY bad stomach ache and you are warped beyond recgonition...

> lay on bed

one of the friendly thieves throws you from the bed and into the door... the door opens with a crash!

> south

You head south and enter the hallway outside of Cell A.
To the west is a long hallway littered with other cell doors and loud yelling.
To the east is dead end but a sign hangs that reads. 'Who is the boss of you? ME! I am the boss of you!' And below the sign lay a bag of items.

> take sign

Are you crazy!? Besides its bolted to the wall and you can't possibly rip it off with your bare hands.

> i

You aren't carring anything.

> take bag

You are now carrying a bag.

> open bag

Inside the baf you find:
a letter opener
a letter (opened)
a sword of Elvish workmanship
fries
a note
a bag of peanuts

> read letter

The letter reads, 'You incompentent fool! I told you not to go to that town, but you wouldn't listen would you! Now you have gone and disapperead like the rest of them... well anyways now that you're there go check out the cave in the east mountains, that might help explain whats going on.

> Turn letter over

On the back of the letter is a map to the east mountains.

>west

Endless hallway
You are walking down an endless hallway.

>east

Endless hallway
Yeah, the dead end isn't there. It's an endless hallway.

>read map

The map shows a secret passage behind the sign at the dead end.

>east

Endless Hallway
Blah blah blah, no really, it's endless.

>north

Hallway Outside of Cell A

>open sign

I only understand you as far as wanting to open something.

>use sign

That sentence didn't make sense.

>enter sign

I only understand you as far as wanting to enter something.

> use letter opener on picture

You carefully RIP the cover off of the picture.
In front of you is a swirling vortex.

> enter portal

huh? how am I supposed to enter it?

> eat fries

You eat fries and feel like crap because of the overwhelming grease present on the fries.

> examine self

You are dripping with grease and are very awkwardly square.

> jump into vortex

With a loud thud you hit the wall...

> throw peanuts into vortex

The vortex grows as if feeding on the peanuts.

> throw all peanuts into vortex

The vortex is now large enough for you to enter.

> enter vortex.

> i

You are carrying:
a letter opener  
a letter (opened)  
a sword of Elvish workmanship  
a note

Oh yeah, at the end of every post oput the inventory or something...it's a good idea.

>look

It's pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

>diagnose

You are feeling sick to your stomach. Those fries didn't help.

>i

a bag of grease
a letter opener  
a letter (opened)  
a sword of Elvish workmanship  
a note
a match

>light grease on fire

What do you want to light the bag of grease on fire with?

>match

The grease catches and quickly burns off, allowing you to see the room for a moment.

Cave
There is a button on the wall, and exits to the northwest and south. There is a portal to your east and a basket is on the ground.

>I

a bag of grease (burnt up)
a letter opener  
a letter (opened)  
a sword of Elvish workmanship  
a note
a match (burnt out)

Hey! Where did you get the match from !

>enter portal

As try to re-enter the vortex it suddenlz dissappears!

The light is almost out.

>push button

Light suddenly fills the cave with light from an unknown source. Something else has been activate by the button though, but you can't figure out what. Maybe it has something to do with the sudden flow of water that is coming into the cave.

>get basket

You pick up the basket.

>examine basket

It is just a simple wooden basket. It cotains a bottle of wine, a loaf of bread and a small paper.

>read paper

It says "To my dear grandmother. -Little Red Riding Hood."

Guess you ended up in a fairy tale instead of a famous computer world.

The water keeps rising slowly. It's covering your feet now.

>i

a bag of grease (burnt up)
a letter opener    
a letter (opened)    
a sword of Elvish workmanship    
a note
a match (burnt out)
a basket containing:
  a bottle of wine
  a loaf of bread
  a paper

The vortex creates a random item in your inventory when you enter it?

>South

Forest
This is a forest, with trees in all directions. To the east there appears to be sunlight.

>East

Inside the Barrow
You are inside an ancient barrow hidden deep within a dark forest. The barrow opens into a narrow tunnel at it's southern end. You can see a faint glow at the far end.
A strangely familiar brass lanter is lying on the ground.

>I

a bag of grease (incenerated)  
a letter opener    
a letter (opened)    
a sword of Elvish workmanship    
a note  
a match (burnt out)
a basket containing:
  a bottle of wine
  a loaf of bread
  a paper